Snapchat - What do parents need to know? Keeping your Kids Safe Online - part 3

Snapchat - What do parents need to know?

Snapchat is one of the newer social media sites. Snapchat is a photo and video sharing app with a twist. The picture or video you send will disappear after 1-10 seconds.  Users love the spontaneity of
that—it feels like socializing that’s digital footprint-free—but, there are ways to capture and
recover images, so no one should develop a false sense of “security” about that.   It was developed as an antidote to “traditional” social networking services, where images can stay around forever and people have to worry about self-presentation and reputations. Snapchat users feel like they don’t have to worry if they’re having a bad hair day or just want to make a silly face.

Snapchat is one of thousands of media- sharing apps that kids use and it’s not even the 6
only one with disappearing pictures (Facebook, for example, has a similar app called
Poke). New apps are popping up all the time, and parents can’t possibly be on top of all
of them. That’s why it’s important for kids to develop critical thinking skills. But know,
too, that the values and social skills you’re teaching them help them stay safe in digital
media and other aspects of their lives.

As parents, it’s important to keep the lines of communication with your
kids as open as possible and work together to figure out what’s appropriate for them, in
terms of safety, privacy, reputation and time management. It generally just works better
to talk with your kids about their favorite tools—with genuine interest, not fear—because
they’re more likely to come to you when they need help and you’re much more likely to
be kept in the loop about all the cool technology they use and you get to learn about

Additional Information:
Connect Safely - A Parents' Guide to Snapchat

Keeping Your Kids Safe Online - part 2

Internet safety is critical. Here are some quick tips for parents when dealing with your children online: 

• Always know what sites they are using
• Always know their passwords for all the sites they are using
• Stay informed about what sites are out there
• Stay informed about what your kids are doing
• Listen
• Observe 
• Respect
• Do what you have to do - YOU are the parent. Do what you think is best for your child.

You can find additional information on my website at: https://sites.google.com/a/gaston.k12.nc.us/egoliverweb/parents/internet-social-media

Social Media Guide for Parents

It's not just Facebook anymore!

Keeping your Kids Safe Online - Part 1

I am going to be blogging some about Internet and Social Media safety for teens. I will be including lots of useful sites for parents to help you see what your kids are doing online! You can find information on my website at: https://sites.google.com/a/gaston.k12.nc.us/egoliverweb/parents/internet-social-media

The Information Super Highway, as the Internet was once called, can be a useful tool for everyone, but so often, it becomes a weapon when used inappropriately. 

Even though you're not out there Tweeting, Facebooking, Kiking or Instagramming, you must admit, your kids are. That is the reality of 2014. We live in an instantaneous world where Google is a verb. I admit, I say this all the time..."Let me Google it." Then I get out my iPhone and do just that.  Information is literally at the tip of my fingers.

Remember, your kids are doing the exact same thing. 

Almost all of the students at Chavis have some sort of mobile device. They are just as attached to their technology as I am - most of them more.  

With that in mind, we have to remember that it is our jobs to monitor that usage and make sure that our kids know the risks and dangers along with those amazing benefits. 

The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act limits companies from collecting personal information about kids under 13 years old. Therefore, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter all require children to be at least 13 to join. Now, we all know that there are easy ways around this and our kids are doing it whether parents know or not. 

Parents should ask their children on a regular basis - 
         Do you have a Facebook account? 
         Do your friends? 
         Do you Tweet? 
         Are you posting pix on Instagram?
         Are you SnapChatting?

If you choose to buy your child a cell phone, make the condition that she can't get a Facebook, Twitter or Instagram account until age 13 and you approve. 

It's tempting to allow an exception, but you might want to consider the message you're sending your child to allow them to break the rules by lying even if they do seem mature enough to behave safely and responsibly. 

Once your child is of age and has your permission, sit down together to set up the accounts. Use all of the privacy restrictions available and do NOT give out unnecessary information like cell phone numbers or home addresses. You should also talk with your child about not posting that personal information as well. 

Good Internet Safety includes NOT posting the following information:

• cell phone numbers
• home address
• location
• home phone number
• inappropriate pictures
• geotagged pictures that gives away location

Good information to tell your children:

• never "friend" anyone they do not know
• never share passwords with anyone but you
• If anything happens that makes them uncomfortable, they can tell you
• Social Rules apply online
• Once you post something online, it never really goes away
• Even if you delete something, it is still out there somewhere 
• Colleges and employers check social media sites and do Google searches on applicants

Long-term consequences may not click right away with your child, but keep reinforcing it.  

Spot-check your children's accounts to see what they are up to - what is she posting? Who are her friends? Who is she following?

It might be a touchy subject, but YOU ARE THE PARENT. 

Monitoring what your kids are posting online is essential. Always have their passwords. If they change it, take away their access until they give you the new passwords. 

Some teens who know their parents are checking on them may set up an alternate account. If you don't see much activity or many friends on her page, that might be the case. Set up a Google alert with your child's name so that if anything about her hits the Internet, you know about it immediately. 

You are the best judge of your kid, but I must encourage you to not be left in the dark. Stay ahead of what your children are doing. Stay informed. Be involved. A good defense is your best option in keeping your children safe online. 

Six-Layer Chocolate Cake

For those of you who do not know, I LOVE CHOCOLATE! I can't get enough. I would literally eat chocolate cake for dinner or breakfast or lunch or even a midnight snack. I'd rather have chocolate than steak. I think you get the point...I really like chocolate. 

My friend and I went to lunch the other day. The food was pretty good. The place was nice. We sat on the patio over-looking Lake Norman. The sun was shining bright with Carolina blue skies. It was a beautiful day. Everything was great.  I was enjoying spending the time with my friend. The meal was over and it was about time to go. You know the moment when the waitress comes over and asks, "Would you like to hear about our desserts?" Now normally, I don't order dessert after eating a big meal. I politely say, "No, thank you," with my best Southern girl manners. But my friend asked to hear what they have. Well, the whole list sounded amazing, but then she got to the very last item.... six-layer chocolate cake. Oh.My. Goodness. I couldn't resist. I shocked my friend and quickly told the waitress I would have the chocolate cake. And man, was it SO worth it. That was the best chocolate cake I've had in a while. Not only was it amazing, it was huge! I had enough to take home for breakfast the next morning. In fact, I ate that cake for about three days. Yummy. 

It got me to thinking about happiness. What makes you happy? Are you like me and love chocolate? Do you love to read? Do you love to spend time with family? Do you love sports - watching and/or playing? Whatever it is that makes you happy, I want to encourage you to do it. Take time and just be happy. Life is too short to waste precious time not being happy. It's okay to indulge every once in a while. It's okay to be happy. It's okay to relax and enjoy life. It's okay to eat six-layer chocolate cake. 

Because I'm Happy

I have been reading a lot lately about happiness and mindfulness. For those who don't know, mindfulness is extremely popular in the self-help world right now. Mindfulness teaches one to live in the moment - to be fully present wherever you are. In this fast-paced society with the world at my finger tips, it is so hard to just slow down and be. I constantly remind myself to relax and just be present - just enjoy the world right now. 

I am challenging myself this year to be mindful and present. Part of that includes limiting my social media intake. I am challenging myself to stay away from the negative stuff that pulls me down. I want to challenge you to do this as well. Don't give in to those pressures to say mean things.  Be like Rachel...say something nice. Rachel tells us, "people will never know how far a little kindness can go." Your one kind word or little bit of happiness may change someone's entire day. 

As you go about your day, I encourage you to be happy. Be kind. Be considerate. Be present. Be mindful. Enjoy the world around you. Even in the rain, you can be a little bit of sunshine! 

Because I'm happy, I can help others be happy too!

Fun. Smart. Effective.

I read this really fascinating article on WebMD today called, Turn Down Negative Self-Talk. You can find it at this link.  While not that long and nothing new, it contains some absolutely enlightening information. 

The article is all about self-talk. How many times have I told myself "I'm stupid," or "I can't do that?" This constant chatter of negativity can really bring a person down. I start to believe that I'm stupid or I can't do something I know good and well I can do. That negativity can eventually make you unable to do something you really want to do. 

The more you focus on the negative events or shortcomings, the harder it is to put it behind you.

The article goes on to tell us that we can overcome and rise above the negative self-talk. It suggests 4 good ways: 

1. Distance yourself
2. Distract yourself
3. Call them out
4. Save them for later

No one is immune to negative self-talk. It's what you do with it that makes the difference. If you learn to replace the negative chatter with positive, you can eventually banish those negative feelings and guilt. 

The article suggests replacing the negative with positive. Say to yourself, "I am confident. I have the skills I need. I am going to trust myself." The more you say those positive things about yourself, the more likely you will believe it! 

It may even help to write it down. Even if you write simple words to help remind yourself you can do it!
You are, "Fun. Smart. Effective."

Sleepless back to school nights

Did you know that teenagers need more sleep than anyone else? Research suggests that teens need between 9-10 hours of sleep per night. 

Sleep is super important. People who are sleepy have trouble with memory, sometimes make bad decisions and can be really cranky. 

I know it can be really difficult to get back into a good sleep habit as we get back in the swing of things. I have difficulty going to bed earlier than I did over the summer. As we venture back to school it really is important to get back into those good sleep habits. 

Here are some ideas to help you fall asleep:
1. Be active during the day -- Physical activity can help people decrease stress and  feel more relaxed. At least 60 minutes of physical activity throughout the day can really help. Just don't wait until bedtime to be active since exercise can pump you up before it makes you tired. 
2. Avoid drugs and alcohol -- Drugs and alcohol can interrupt a person's sleep, increasing the chances of waking up in the middle of the night.
3. Say goodnight to electronics -- Experts recommend using the bedroom for sleep only. If you can't make the bedroom tech-free, shut it down at least an hour before bedtime to give your brain time to relax and unwind. 
4. Keep a sleep routine -- Going to bed at the same time daily helps the body expect sleep. A set bed time can enhance relaxation. So unwind every night by doing something relaxing like reading a book, writing in a journal, doing a crossword or anything that relaxes you (avoiding technology which can actually wake you up!).
5. Expect a good night's sleep -- Stress can trigger insomnia, so the more you agonize about not sleeping, the greater the risk you'll lie awake staring at the ceiling. Instead of worrying that you won't sleep, remind yourself that you can. Say, "Tonight, I will sleep well" several times during the day. It can also help to practice breathing exercises or gentle yoga poses before bed. 

Check out these sites for more information: 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-health/art-20046157

http://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/teens-and-sleep
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/from/sleep.html
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/take_care/how_much_sleep.html
http://kidshealth.org/teen/expert/sleep/sleepless.html?tracking=T_RelatedArticle
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/take_care/tips_sleep.html

Everyone has a sleepless night once in a while. But if you regularly have trouble sleeping and you think it's affecting your mood or performance, talk to your parents and your doctor. 

First Day of School 2014

It's TIME!!! 

The first day of school is Monday, August 25.

We will see you bright and early Monday morning!

Back to School 2014 Info

It's that time of year...Back to School!

There are always lots of questions and inquiries this time of year. Most questions can be answered online! Did you know that John Chavis Middle School is online? We have a school webpage, Facebook, and Twitter. Look us up!

JCMS website: http://www.gaston.k12.nc.us/Page/57
JCMS Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/JohnChavisMiddle
JCMS Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/JohnChavisMS

Ways to contact me:

Elishia Oliver

School Counselor 

John Chavis Middle School

egoliver@gaston.k12.nc.us

www.facebook.com/egoliver

https://twitter.com/ElishiaOliver

http://egoliverblog.blogspot.com/

https://sites.google.com/a/gaston.k12.nc.us/egoliverweb/

JCMS Sites:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/John-Chavis-Middle-School-Counseling-Page/

https://www.facebook.com/JohnChavisMiddle

https://twitter.com/JohnChavisMS

Happy Summer Vacation!

The teachers jumped out of the windows.
The principal ran for the door.
The nurse and librarian bolted.
They're not coming back anymore.

The counselor, hollering madly,
escaped out the door of the gym.
The coach and custodian shouted
and ran out the door after him.

The lunch ladies threw up their ladles,
then fled from the kitchen in haste,
while all of the students looked puzzled
as staff members scurried and raced.

We'd never seen anything like it.
But, still, it was pretty darned cool
to see all the staff so excited
to leave on the last day of school.

--Kenn Nesbitt

HAPPY SUMMER VACATION!

The Cool Down

The Cool Down

Use the Cool Down when you want to get away from a conflict and take control of strong, angry feelings!

Did you know that scientists have found that our feelings are faster than our thoughts?

This is usually a good thing because it means our bodies can respond to danger very quickly. Unfortunately, it also means if somebody says something means to you, your feelings of anger will make you immediately want to say something mean back. That’s the problem with our quick and strong feelings – they can get us into conflict before our more cool, logical thoughts can calm us down. When you’re in a big fight or argument and your feelings are intense or hot it’s hard to think clearly and fairly. It’s hard to take control of your hot feelings and make the choice to solve the conflict. When that’s the case, you may need to do the Cool Down!

The Cool Down means you choose to stop arguing and get away from the person you’re arguing with. You do anything to calm yourself without fighting. After a while, your feelings will cool down. Then you’ll have a more clear head to think about solutions to your conflict.

Ways to Cool Down:

1.   Go for a run

2.   Listen to your favorite band or song

3.   Eat a banana

4.   Ride your bike or skateboard, or go skating

5.   Write a poem or rap

6.   Do your homework

7.   Help your brother or sister with his or her homework

8.   Call, email or instant message a friend, but don’t say mean things about the person your in conflict with

9.   Check out your favorite blog or web site

10. Read a book

11. Play a game

12. Vacuum

13. Climb the monkey bars

14. Take a nap

15. Take a bath

16. Sing a song in the shower

17. Make a painting or drawing

18. Take the dog for a walk

19. Climb a tree

20. Look at old photos of your family

If you show respect for others, you can prevent many conflicts! The Cool Down requires that you be a leader. You have to step up and take charge of your feelings. If you let hot feelings be in charge, you might end up in a fight or saying or doing something that really hurts the other person. You might ruin a good friendship. It’s a lot better to Cool Down when you’re too hot to talk!!

The time is always right to do what is right

In life there are no make-up exams choose carefully

Hello World!

I am trying this blogger thing to see how it works. Hopefully, I will put neat ideas and thoughts here to share.